Life is Good

I'm in Utah for my nephew, Adam's wedding, a Gent (my side) family reunion, hugging Keira, visiting Jorgen and Amy, another reunion of friends we knew while stationed in Spain and another wedding (the daughter of one of the families from Spain).

Keira Jacalynn, 3 months

Adam and Maile, July 23, 2010

Jorgen, Grandpa, Keira, and Amy

My heart is full to overflowing with feelings of gratitude and love for all the good that exists in my life. Yet I know if it weren't for the bad I would not understand or appreciate the good.

Warriors of Light

HERE WE GO!!! Twenty-six 4th Year YW (15 year olds), six YCLs (Youth Camp Leader, 16-17 year olds), two adult leaders (older than the girls), and five Priesthood Leaders (we've never had this many) pose at the beginning of our two day, 12 mile backpacking hike on the Butterfly Trail, Mt. Lemmon. We are fresh, clean, and eager to hit the trail. At lease some of the group was! As I began my hike up the road I remembered what I was in for over the next couple of days. Pain, dirt, little sleep, more pain, more dirt, and less sleep were to be my companions! I asked myself, "and why am I doing this?"

Even days before the hike began I felt some doubt because of nose bleeds I kept having. They were gushers and I just couldn't see being out there on the trail dripping blood all over. I asked my home teacher for a priesthood blessing of healing, did some research on the whys and what to dos about nose bleeds so I did feel more confident after arming myself with faith and with knowledge.

The first day was grueling! We had back packs that kept breaking (hand me downs from "big brother scout"), bad shoes, twisted ankles, blisters, fatigue, and other stuff to slow us down. It took 7 hours from the time we left until the last group of hikers made it to the campsite, which was only 6 miles. As I hiked into our campsite I thought to myself, "Nah, not going to do this again."

The first night I gave up my tent and my sleeping pad to a girl that struggled the entire time. She kept getting leg cramps, threw up a lot, and had to rest an unbelievable amount of time. It was decided that the next morning she would have to hike with the Priesthood leader, who carried his pack and her pack most of the way, the one mile trail to the main highway and go back to Camp Zion. Another girl felt she, too, was to sick to hike the last 6 miles with the rest of us, and so hiked out with them. But when she got back to camp her YW leader let her rest a bit, hydrate, and then they hiked back out of camp and met us later on the trail. Impressive!

The whole group woke up the second day not really sure they could make it to the end. There were tears and there was fear. I had similar thoughts, too, especially when it came to putting that back pack back on. It hurt! We had a little pep talk about praying for strength that our burdens would be made lighter. I know it worked for me and many of the girls.

A few of us got up at 4:45 the second morning and hiked up Mt. Bigelow to watch the sunrise. WOW!

My co-leader, Kristen Mitchell, thought the Tarzan yell should be our signature cheer! Where I got the energy, I don't know!

We arrived at our second night's camp spot much quicker than the first night which gave us several hours of recovery time. The girls were cheerful and grateful. I was still thinking they can do the hike without me next year.

The last morning was my turn to lead the devotional. I chose to talk to the girls about having the courage to stand for truth and righteousness, and specifically talk about the Family Proclamation. I had had a dream the month before that I needed to talk to them about families being under attack and how they can help by their example of righteous living. As I listened during the hike to the young women share stories of their families, many of whom come from non-traditional and somewhat dysfunctional families I knew there was purpose in that dream.

We all walked into camp amidst cheers, tears, and love. I was relieved of the burden of my back pack by a sweet sister and led to a foot bath, back rub, and refreshing ice cold drink. Ah, it felt so good. But I'm still thinking that I just can't do this another year--a whole lot of work, I'm tired, and it's too hard! I went to take a much needed shower to wash off the grunge. I began to feel something stirring in my heart. I argued, "No, I'm too old, I can't do this!" I got dressed and the feeling persisted. I kept arguing, but finally I felt a strong prompting that this is where I'm supposed to be, teaching girls that they (we) can do hard things.

I told the Stake leaders if they want me back I will lead next year's 4th year hike. I have already started planning and preparing!

The Hymns

Last Saturday I drove to Mesa to attend the 9:30 session at the temple; my daughter-in-law joined me which was wonderful to share that experience with her. On the way up I listened to one of my books on CD, but told myself that as I got closer to the Temple I should put in a Mormon Tabernacle Choir CD to prepare me for service and sacred instruction. Just as I drove onto the 202 "How Firm a Foundation" began playing.

A flood of glorious memories washed over me, and the water works began. It wasn't the song necessarily, but thinking about all of the beloved hymns I sang as a child in church with my family. The hymns are powerful spiritual giants who lift, inspire, and invite the listener and singer to desire only what is good in life. I love to sing and to listen to the hymns.

First Cousins Once Removed!

A couple of months ago I got an email asking me if I was "so-and-so." I was a little concerned it might be a scam trying to get personal information. I replied, but didn't tell too much more than what I had been asked. Come to find out Anne is my first cousin's daughter on the Gent (my dad) side of the family. She lives in Georgia, but was planning on visiting her dad in Phoenix along with her younger sister, Janelle, and is extremely interested in family history.

I had written a family history book a few years ago about my parents and their ancestors called "Legacy of Love." It is filled with handed down stories documenting the history of the Gents, the Yeagers, the Warnocks, and the Whitmores as well as the Longs, the Baines, the Shields, and the Basims. I wanted to share the book with her and of course to meet her again. The last time I met them was at a family reunion in 1978! We have a picture of Anne holding baby Nick Jr.!

What lovely, fun girls they are, and believe me they got some of their gorgeous dark hair, blue eyed good looks from the Gent side of the family. I have the blue eyes, but not the dark hair (even before I turned "silver"). Their granddad, who was a very good looking man, is my Dad's brother.

Anne and Janelle and I became fast friends sharing family stories with each other. Hmm, found out some interesting stuff I did not know! I hope we keep in touch even though one lives in Atlanta and the other in Seattle. But thanks to modern technology (we are facebook friends!) and love of family there's no reason why we shouldn't!

My Parents

My mom and dad have been gone from this earth life for a long time, Mom nearly 20 years and Dad over 10. I remember as a child and even into my midlife years I never, ever thought they would die. I could not imagine being without them and their influence. You know, I was always their "little girl, their baby." I grieved for nearly a year after each death, probably feeling sorry for myself: "Why am I left all alone; it's not fair, etc. etc." Well, time does have a way of healing wounds and pain. I know they are busy doing whatever one does in the next existence, and I'm busy trying to do those things here that would make them happy.

Occasionally something happens, like seeing a picture of them, reading something either Mom or Dad have written, or whatever to remind me of the great legacy they left their family. Today, Father's Day, I thought about my Dad. I adored him when I was young; he was such a good looking guy, big, strong and could do anything! In his retirement years he spent quite a bit of time here in Arizona with us. I cherish those years. He softened a great deal after his sweetheart, my Mom, died. It was really hard on him, but that loss was a humbling and growing experience. I'm so grateful for my father and his example of loving nature, loving the Lord, and following the prophet. I love you Dad.

Summertime in El Paso

I went to El Paso this past weekend to watch Gens graduate from his intern status at the Beaumont Army Medical Center. It might not be as big a deal as his graduation from medical school (which I wasn't able to go to) last year, but it is a huge accomplishment for Gens and means hours of sacrifice for the family. I had a very fun time with the three "wild and crazy" grandsons, Dailan (5), Magnus (3), and Soren (15 months).

Watching the military graduation ceremony brought back so many memories of our time in the United States Navy. It was formal, dignified, and very specific. I love how my daughter-in-law, Nicci, makes sure she and her children are part of everything Gens does. It was suggested that the young children go to the child care provided for families. She said, "no, these kids need to be a part of their dad's experience." Go Nicci!

We took time for a little family walk around the block. I always thought El Paso was the armpit of Texas, but it's actually quite lovely. The weather was beautiful, cool and comfortable in the evenings. I am impressed with it and the good lives Gens and Nicci are providing for their children.

Funny story: there was a gentle breeze on Saturday evening when I was watching the boys while mom and dad were out to dinner and dancing with the other medical residents. The boys and I decided to fly a kite. To make a long story short--the frog kite flew higher and higher. It was magnificent! Until the string holder jumped out of my hand, over the wall, into the Rio Grande River and was lost forever! I am now looking for a replacement kite!

Keira's Blessing, and Thoughts

I wasn't able to attend Keira's blessing, but Jorgen and Amy posted after blessing pictures. She looks so cute in her little white dress and headband. Sure wish I could have been there for such a sweet occasion.

Amy, Keira, and Jorgen Goodman
June 6, 2010
Provo, Utah

I do want to share some stuff I've learned this week. When the kids were little I was running here and there with them, lessons, practices, meets, games, etc. I thought how can I get any busier? In fact I even used the rationale, "if I could just get in a little accident, then I would have to slow down." The kids are grown up and gone, but life isn't any slower. I've just filled it with "my stuff." This past week and the rest of the month is no exception. Last Sunday I was feeling a little overwhelmed with all that's on the agenda, and when this happens I begin to shut down.

Our Sunday School lesson that day was on Gideon and how he was told by the Lord to take only 300 of the thousand or so men into battle against thousands, because the Lord wanted both sides to know that Gideon and his men weren't doing this alone, they had His help. I thought of this remarkable feat as I wanted to scream and run away. What if I were to pray for strength and courage to face all I had to, would I get help? He did more than just help me with the busyness, He helped me find strength in my weaknesses. And this morning as I was filled with self-doubt, He blessed me with experiences to wash the doubt away. My calendar is still full, but I know I can go forward with cheerful faith!!

One Little Baby Bird

If you look real close you can see one little baby bird that hatched. I took this picture a few days ago and although the other egg has a crack, it has not hatched.

It's pretty amazing to watch nature up close and personal. I was taught from an early age to love and appreciate the creation and all that has been given for our pleasure and enjoyment. True, having a momma bird build a nest and lay her eggs at my front door can be a little annoying because of the mess and my guests that she frightens, yet I can't help but feel she must trust us and feel right at home!

Bird Watching Anyone?

Can you see what I see?

While I was gone for a 7 days to Utah a little mommy mourning dove decided to build a nest in my door wreath. She had tried before and the twigs kept falling through, but being a determined mother she finally succeeded in making a nice nest for her two eggs. This door isn't used a lot, but when someone does come she takes off in flight and frightens the visitor. Hmmm, "watchbird." I guess that could work.

Xela Graduates!!

Nick and I left Provo at 6:00 a.m. on Friday morning with our goal being Phoenix, AZ for Xela's graduation at 5:00 p.m. near the Phoenix Convention Center. We thought we would have plenty of time but because of construction traffic north of Phoenix we were only 15 minutes early!

We did get to watch all the Masters of Social Work graduates make their way to the podium and receive their certificates. What a thrill and a proud moment for these two parents! Two years ago when Xela started this adventure she wanted to quit and hit the trail again. There were some trying times, but because of her grit she walked the walk and accomplished something great. We know the challenges she endured because her dad edited her papers and I listened to her, not complain but vent!

Nick, Jake, Sam, Xela, and Rachel

Xela babysat for her nephews often and I know they are going to miss each other. Why, you might ask? Not only did we watch her graduate and celebrate with dinner, but we also had to say good-bye!

Xela left this morning for Lake Placid, NY where she will be working for the summer months at least. She landed her first job as a therapist for an organization that helps at risk youth in wilderness experiences, very similar to Arizona's Anasazi, where Xela has worked for a couple of years. I will miss her, but excited she can now fly free and lift others. It is what we are meant to do!

My last picture of Keira before hitting the road. Her shirt says, "100% loved by Grandma." Look, she has the beginnings of a double chin! She did gain a little and grew in length. I loved being able to spend time with her and her parents. Thank you Jorgen and Amy for sharing your little one with me!

Pink, Pink, Pink!

I'm in Provo, Utah and I'm having a wonderful time playing grandma to number six grandchild, and the first granddaughter. I love my five little all-boy grandsons, and I love sweet Keira Jacalynn. She looks beautiful in pink!

It is so gratifying to watch my child become a parent for the first time. I can tell this little girl has melted her daddy's heart. And Amy is already a loving and nurturing mom to her week old baby.

I remember very vividly the second the doctor told me Xela was a girl as he layed her on my stomach. I wept with joy and fear thinking of the responsibility that was now mine to be the mother of a daughter. I'm not sure about the kind of job I did mothering this strong female person, but I am very proud of the woman she is and the good Samaritan she has become. She truly cares for the down trodden, the broken individual, the "certain man from Jerusalem who fell among thieves." I love the talk given by Elder M. Russell Ballard at April 2010 General Conference "Mothers and Daugthers." The world needs righteous women who are strong and of good courage. Keira will be that kind of woman. Her mother, her aunts, and her grandmothers will teach her.

Gila Valley Temple

I went with two special friends to the Gila Valley Temple open house today. We had so much fun on the drive over except for the not so nice man in a uniform with a speed gun and a pen! Not gonna go there, but he could have cut the driver a break!

The temple is very beautiful inside and out. My breath was taken away when we walked into the celestial room--the chandelier was so sparkly and elegant.

The physical beauty of a temple is not what is important, but the covenants that take place on the inside of a dedicated temple are. I'm very grateful for the blessings of the temple in my life.

Meet Keira Jaquelyn!

Keira Jaquelyn Goodman was born early Wednesday morning, April 28, 2010. She weighed a whoppin' 5 pounds 8 ounces and she is 18" long. Jorgen, her daddy, was 9 lbs. 3 oz. and 22" long when he was born. I think Keira is going to be petite, like her mom. She actually wasn't due to be born until May 6th, but since her mom has been "in labor" and on meds for almost three months, it is a blessing that she is well and healthy.

It is killing me not to jump in the car and head north to Provo so I can meet her, hold her, and love her! But Amy's parents are close by and this is their first grandchild, so I know Keira will be surrounded by lots of love! And I'm heading that way next week!

Have you ever wondered why we as humans, at least most humans, feel such a bond or attachment to our children? Why aren't we like snakes--lay the eggs and slither away! We sacrifice from the very beginning to bear children, the mother physically, the dad working harder to take care of his family. We love these unborn, unseen "flesh of our flesh. " And the sacrifices continue throughout our entire lives, because we love them. Oh, I know that's not the case in some families, but it should be. I believe families are meant to be eternal, to be together forever. It just makes sense. There is purpose in the plan.

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Walk for Cystic Fibrosis

I walked a 5K Cystic Fibrosis fundraiser today at Oro Valley Marketplace with family and friends of Janis Golding. Ronald McDonald and Belle joined us. What a beautiful day and enjoyable time getting exercise and visiting with friends! There are moments, fleeting though they may be, when life is good. "Press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope and a love of God and of all men ..." 2 Nephi 31:20

Like Son, Like Mother

Little Nick (what I used to call him) and I ran the Catalina State Park trail race on Saturday. This was my fourth time running this race, but the only time I have known other people running. It was much more fun this time and the weather could not have been nicer. There were nearly 500 people who participated which made the trail kind of crowded at the beginning, but more people means more energy! Nick ran the 10+ mile course and I ran 5+ miles.

I always look like I'm just about ready to hurl when I run! I did feel good this race, no real aches or pains, but my pace was slower than before. I have been training for the past 6 months to improve my time, and I have on some races, but not this one. The reason could be my nutrition being off for a few weeks as well as feeling some congestion lately. Every day I wake up I fight the battle of eating for health not for therapy!

Passover Seder

Since Easter, General Conference, and Feast of the Passover were so close together this year I wanted to do something unique and have a Seder or Passover dinner. So I drove to the Mosley's cabin in Pinetop with my bitter herbs, grape juice, lamb shank, mortar (charoset), parsley, boiled egg, and matza to celebrate the Passover as well as watch General Conference. We read the scriptures in Exodus that tell about the 10 plagues, and why the children of Israel put the blood of a lamb on their door ways. We also sang hymns. This was not meant to offend our Jewish brothers and sisters but to understand this tradition, and to draw closer to the Savior since He was a Jew. He was celebrating the Passover with His apostles the night of the Last Supper. This was also when He taught them about the Sacrament. I loved doing this and learned a lot.

I hope everyone had a chance to go to at least one session of Conference. What do you do to keep the uplifting feeling with you after conference is over?

Easter Week

I started Easter Week with a long hike up Bear Canyon to Seven Falls. It's not a hard hike; the trail is wide, clear (for the most part), and fairly flat to a medium incline. It is long, over 7 miles round trip, and I had to criss cross the stream at least 10 times. It was up to my knees in some parts. But the weather was gorgeous, perfect for hiking. And a perfect day to start preparing for Easter.

When I reached the falls I sat down in the warm sun, next to the lowest falls and read a talk about the last week of Jesus' mortal life. That monumental week is why we celebrate Easter, not because of the decorated eggs, the peeps or the chocolate bunny.

Being on the trail, experiencing God's gift to all of us, His creation, was a great way to start the week. I have Easter DVDs to watch, more talks to read, and of course the Four Gospels to help me become better acquainted with "the greatest story ever told." I'm planning to culminate the journey with a Passover Dinner and four sessions of General Conference. I find it more than a coincidence that Passover, Easter, and General Conference are happening at the same time. It's going to be a great week!

Saying Good-bye

My friend for many years, Janis Golding, was laid to rest this past Saturday after a courageous lifetime battle with cystic fibrosis. I feel as if I had the sacred privilege of being a part of her last few weeks of mortality. Why I was blessed with this tender mercy I'm not sure, but my heart is filled with gratitude that I was.

Janis Golding, 2001
(taken at Nick Jr's wedding reception in our backyard)

Janis lived her life as one of those "elect" women you read about in the scriptures. Her health was always precarious, in and out of the hospital for much of her life, but it was always others she worried about, never herself; her influence, and her light will remain strong and bright for many throughout the years.

Being a Chaplain

Perhaps when you hear the word chaplain you think of a minister in the military; someone who prays with the troops. When we were in the Navy many years ago I met a few chaplains, one was LDS and many more non LDS.

While we lived in California I thought that I would like to be a Chaplain, but in a hospital setting, not to join the military. Although the time wasn't right for me to pursue that goal, I kept the thought. Last summer I started thinking about it again and looked online at the hospitals here in Tucson and found that NW Medical Center was beginning a training in October. I applied and was accepted. The training lasted through December. I am now a certified volunteer Chaplain.

There were nearly twenty people in the class, men and women. Some ordained ministers, but most are lay people who have a desire to help others. They have great faith and they believe, without doubt, in prayer as a way to heal the body and the soul. I have learned much about prayer and faith from them as well as from the experienced Chaplains at the hospital. It has been a great journey for me and one I have felt led to. I do not claim any authority, only that I believe in a kind and wise Father in heaven whose love and will it is to bless his children. I have had the honor to pray, while holding hands, with many of the patients, hopefully to bring them comfort and peace.

The other Chaplains know of my religious affiliation, and I have felt their curiosity at my beliefs. This is so good for me. Constantly I'm thinking of the example I need to set. I do believe there is a purpose and reason I've been prompted to do this, if not for others, certainly for me.

What's a Mother to Do???

My youngest child got knocked out by a rock or a brick and was rushed to the hospital early Sunday morning. I hate those early morning phone calls from the police, hospitals, uncles, etc. No crushed bones around his eye socket, but there is a hairline fracture.

Never fear, he landed on both feet as usual. I think he's down to about life number 6 or 7 or 5.

I remember getting a phone call many years ago a little after midnight from the hospital when Nick Jr was hit by a car while riding his motor cycle. Shudder! No helmet! Only a broken nose and slight concussion. Oh yeah, and then there was the time the phone rang at 8 in the morning from the police; Xela had rolled her Jeep, slid on the top for 50+ yards on I-10 near the Miracle Mile exit. No injuries, only glass and gravel in her hair from sliding upside down. To be fair I've received adrenalin rushing phone calls about Jorgen and Gens as well.

I'm hoping I can survive this "career choice" of motherhood, and to endure it well. Some days are better than others. There have been a few phone calls such as, "Mom, I need your prayers, my wife's mother is really sick, please pray for her," and "Mom, I've messed up, I want to get my life in order and go on a mission." Another phone call, "being away from home has helped me realize how much I love you and appreciate all you've done for me." Then of course there was the phone call from a son who said, "you're going to be a grandma!!" These phone calls are the ones that have made the trials of mothering all worth it, every second. It is true, there must needs be opposition in all things, for if we don't know the bitter how can we taste of the sweet!